Who says seniors can’t be mainstreamed? It just takes a little chutzpah and a lot of determination. Before we knew it, we leapfrogged from sending out smoke signals and carrier pigeons to writing Internet blogs that became international hits. Simultaneously, while preparing to collect social security, we wrote and recorded funny show biz podcasts that were judged “New & Notable” for eight weeks on iTunes.
We did have to sacrifice our smug isolation and to network with 20-something tekkie savants to infiltrate this Brave New World. We might have learned the computer at the Malibu Senior Center, but our real life in cyberspace began at the Apple Store in Santa Monica where we hooked up with a brilliant, handsome young actor who knew how to do things with his Mac that others could only dream about. Together we created a zany universe bridging the gap between the old and the new Hollywood, complete with sound effects, music and voice impressions. Thus was born STARR SECRETS: Down & Dirty Truths About Today’s and Yesteryear’s Celebrities.
We’re two 60-something Jewish ladies who look like Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler with nosejobs. The cosmic joke is we’re really two black church ladies trapped in these personas. We’ve spent more time rockin’ out at black gospel churches than we have in any synagogue. Our colleague Trevor, too young to be our son, is a bona fide WASP from Main Line Philadelphia whose acting credits are as impressive as his pedigree. Talent is indeed ageless and equal. He did a great imitation of Wyatt Earp’s Jewish relatives and Jessica Simpson’s creepy pastor dad. We told Trevor everything we knew about the randy Rudolph Valentino and his two lesbian wives…he proceeded to play ALL three brilliantly. “Pam Anderson & Gandhi: Sexy Vegetarians” went through the roof.
We laughed our asses off and came back from the Dead Zone of the Irrelevant. Subsequently, a comedian friend of ours introduced us from the stage as “the immortal Senior Barbies, the Starr Sisters.”
We decided to go with it and to share it all with you, including our love of Lady Gaga and Busby Berkley musicals (one in the same on the time-space continuum), and our fondness for “rafternooning” in the Pacific Ocean by the Malibu Pier with our Pepperdine frat boy neighbors.
